Vicky + David
Who knows what the future holds for all of us here--but we will try our best to find joy in the things to come and to make our peace with the harder parts. We wish the same for you.
A note from mom to mom
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Hi there!
We're David and Vicky. Along with our happy-go-lucky son Jack (3) and our loveable mini Aussie Shep puppy Kopi, we can't wait for another kiddo to join us through adoption! David is a lawyer for a global e-commerce company and Vicky is an elementary school teacher, and we might be the rare people who enjoy our jobs! At home, we are busy parents who are grateful that we have two crazy balls of energy to look after. One is furrier than the other but they both like to jump in the water and chase balls.
Though we're American and Jack was born in Georgia, we've lived in Singapore for the last two years. It's a beautiful island city surrounded by ocean and we are still amazed that we get to live in a place that feels like year-round vacation. (Actually, BALI's just a short flight away ?) It's an absolute paradise for families -- a perfect blend of modern city with all the conveniences we'd have back home in the US access to beaches, jungles, lakes, and fields a ton of the most delicious food you will EVER HAVE easy travel to amazing destinations all over Asia Pacific...Thailand, Japan, Australia.
We are so excited to give Jack and our future kid(s) the opportunity to grow up marvelling at everything this great big world has to offer. At the same time, we maintain close talk-all-the-time relationships with our friends and family at home in the US, and are part of a tight-knit group of friends-who-are-like-family here in Singapore. Any kid we are lucky enough to welcome into our family will have a whole village looking out for them--including, we hope, you and your family.
Living Abroad in Singapore
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Before we visited in 2019 on our honeymoon, we hadn't known much about this place besides what we had seen in the movie Crazy Rich Asians. But we fell hard and fast for beautiful, tropical, vibrant Singapore, with its skyscrapers and jungles, highways and beaches, Michelin-starred restaurants, and hole-in-the-wall food stalls. In 2022, David got offered a great career opportunity with better work-life balance...in Singapore, of all places! So we took a leap of faith and moved here--and we are so grateful that we did.So what might you need to know about Singapore? First, a tiny bit of history: Singapore was originally a British colony where English merchants docked huge ships that later returned to Europe full of silk, tea, spices, porcelain and other Asian treasures. So even though their ancestors come from Malaysia, India, Europe, China, Indonesia etc., Singaporeans all speak English. Even old Chinese-looking grandmas! Just like in the US, English is the country's primary and native language.For our family, the biggest draw for living in Singapore, we get the best of both worlds: we get to enjoy living in Asia and all it has to offer (yummy food! easy travel! amazing weather!) AND we still get to live our lives in English. A lot of our new friends here are Americans, Europeans, Canadians, Australians and Kiwis and who all had the same idea. Right now Jack attends a daycare that emphasizes bilingualism (English and Mandarin Chinese) and sports. It has a truly international student body. When our kids are school-age, they will attend one of the many world-class private international schools here. They'll have free tuition at whichever school Vicky is teaching at!Living abroad here is an incredible, eye-opening experience. Our family is meeting people from all over the world, and we are living a life full of adventure, noodles, dumplings, coconuts, and mangoes. Watching Jack blossom here makes us feel confident that this is a wonderful place to raise a family.
Vicky, David & Co. A Year in the Life
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What follows are posts from "A Year in the Life" of our family-- I hope it gives you a helpful snapshot into our lives!
First introductions:
- David - an all-around decent dude, sports writer turned lawyer, actively collects dad jokes.
- Vicky - a regular MacGyver, lawyer turned teacher, smiles with her whole face.
- Jack - a good egg, big brother in training, can be found wherever the peanut butter is.
- Kopi - a mini Aussie Shepherd puppy who's too big for her own good, fetch enthusiast, can also be found wherever the peanut butter is.
September
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We start with September, because Vicky is a 4th grade teacher. For her, the beginning of every school year is the beginning of a new chapter. Vicky teaches at an international school for now but will take time off to stay home with any future babies.
This is what David said about Vicky in his wedding vows:"I remember that very early on in our relationship, I was amazed at how big your heart was. I remember you talking about your friends, your parents, your brothers, and probably more than anyone, your students.You stayed loving them even after they moved on to a different grade. At the start of every school year, you don't reset; somehow, incredibly, you just open your heart to thirty more kids.I met your students only once this year, and yet I know that Tenzen is spacey but sweet; that Lucy made amazing progress on her reading; and that Jana looks up to you and would flip out if she knew I just mentioned her in our wedding vows.I know all this because you know all this. I care only because you care so much."
October
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For the last two years, Vicky's parents--AKA "Gong Gong" and "Mah Mah"--have visited us in October, just in time to celebrate Halloween together.
They are the kind of sweet old couple you see in Christmas movies--still adorably in love with each other, young at heart, obsessed with their grandkid (and looking forward to the next), and embarrassingly friendly to strangers. Vicky's parents speak 5 languages!
We're super close to Vicky's parents--Jack has breakfast with them every morning over Facetime...right before they head to bed in Georgia.
From Vicky's parents: "Right before Jack was born, Vicky and David moved to Atlanta to live with us. During that time, we spent lots of time together. Now, we love David like he is our own son. He is kind, and considerate, loves children, and is also very smart. We have no doubt that together, they can love and provide the best care they know how to another child, who they are so looking forward to adopting."
November
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November brings lots of opportunities to celebrate Friendsgiving and stay connected to our American roots. We have a few other American families that we like to spend time with here--especially around the holidays when we most miss home!
This year, we celebrated Thanksgiving with a bunch of friends, both old and new-ish. We're now friends with a lot of people who come from all over the world, but we've also made friends with other Americans living in Singapore--including a family we wanted to buy a rug from on Facebook Marketplace. We got to talking and learned that we have adoption in common (they adopted both their kids in Texas!). We didn't buy the rug but we did keep the friends.
Vicky and David also went for a grown-ups-only Friendsgiving at a fancy hotel with our neighbors from Seattle/Singapore. They have two sons who are like older brothers to Jack. It's nice to know that we have friends we can count on just a few doors down.
December
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We love Christmas in this house. David loves Christmas dinner. Vicky and Jack are in it for the gingerbread cookies. Just give us Deck the Halls, Mariah, Ariana, and Wham! Christmas has arrived!
January
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In January, the entire city gets decked out in lucky red and gold. And we snack on once-a-year treats nonstop. It is an excellent remedy for post-Christmas blues.
When Vicky was growing up in Canada, nobody really knew about Lunar New Year--so her family celebrated on their own. In contrast, it's amazing to have lots of friends--and the entire country of Singapore--help Vicky share this holiday with David and Jack! New Year festivities come around TWICE a year in Singapore! As soon as Christmas trees and NYE baubles come down, Lunar (Chinese) New Year lanterns go up for a weeks-long celebration.
February
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David grew up in New York and Vicky grew up in Canada. We've both been cold for a big chunk of our lives...so we appreciate the warm days of February in Singapore!
On the weekends, our family can be found...
- exploring a jungle park
- playing pretend at home
- hanging with family friends
- eating street food
- chilling at an oceanfront beach
- trying something new at a festival or special event
- sweating it out on a family adventure
- giving Kopi a much needed bath
- glamming up for a night on the town
March
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Spring Training
March has always been an important month in our household. It is, after all, the beginning of Spring Training. As a lifelong fan, David's love of the game goes way beyond watching baseball on TV.
He wrote for MLB straight out of college. The closest he's ever been to a celebrity is the time he interviewed a rookie Jose Altuve. In college, David was the editor of his college newspaper's sports section and later became editor-in-chief.
In high school, David made a group of friends who, while not necessarily athletes (nerds, let's call them nerds), shared his love of baseball. To this day, they go head-to-head in an annual fantasy baseball league. Even though everyone's scattered far and wide by now, the tradition gets kicked off each year with an in-person meetup, with the location chosen by the last year's winner. Though David won last year, he didn't have it in him to demand that the next meetup be held in Singapore. He is a decent guy like that.
Playing the Long Game
"Decent" has always been Vicky's favorite way to describe David. Throughout our decade-long evolution from law school classmates, to housemates, to friends, to boyfriend-girlfriend and now to partners and parents--Vicky has always seen David for who he is at his core: sweet, funny, upstanding, considerate. In short, a decent dude.
He left a prestigious law firm where he was being groomed for partner so that he could be there for bedtimes and weekends. He lived with Vicky's parents for a year and somehow still loves them. And he never lets Vicky carry groceries because he considers it his gentlemanly duty to be our family's pack mule. He's the kind of husband you want to keep around.
David will tell you that his earliest memory of Vicky was sitting across from her in the booth of a bar near our law school, during our 1L year, talking baseball while the rest of our friends talked contracts law. She was a Red Sox fan, he is a Yankees fan, the conversation got heated, and the rest is history.
April
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April is dedicated to Vicky's family because it's a big birthday month on her side! Vicky has two younger brothers and is still as close as ever to them. They are awesome uncles! Jack is absolutely obsessed with the new aunty he got when Uncle Ray married Aunty Alisa. And we're all excited that Uncle Allan recently moved to Vietnam, which makes him only a short flight away!
Vicky also has a huge extended family in Canada--dozens of aunts and uncles and cousins. Our kids will have no shortage of aunts and uncles as Jack happily discovered this summer when we visited them in Toronto. When we took Jack to visit Vicky's grandma, she sang him nursery rhymes and lullabies. Jack had never met her before, but he gave her a million kisses and cuddles anyway.
May
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From David's parents:
"Although we live in New York and they are in Singapore, we feel near to them. David calls frequently to keep us updated on Jack and the family's activities. Vicky sends us photos and videos. We often Facetime with Jack and laugh at his antics. He is delightful. They have read to Jack since the beginning. We saw a sweet video of David cuddling with Jack and showing him picture books when Jack was just a few months old. Jack was entranced. David and Vicky embody the values at the heart of every religion-do unto others as you would have them do unto you. They are very kind and generous. They have many friends throughout the world that they have kept from their school days and that they have met in their new home."
June
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It's a 20-hour flight from Singapore to the US. But we do it every June anyway because:
1) We miss everyone too much not to!
2) There's always a wedding ?
July
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This is what our best friends would like you to know about us:
- Vicky and David are as authentic as they come. How they present themselves is truly who they are. They are easy to get along with and extremely caring. My favorite thing about them is the communication and love. They're always on the same page, rowing the boat together.
- It's rare to find two people so comfortable with who they are and how they relate to one another, but when you do find it, it's an absolute joy to be around.
- David and Vicky are so compatible and make such a great team. It's not just that they are at ease with each other--it's that being around them makes you more at ease as well.
- One of the many reasons I love Vicky is that she is so incredibly authentic and warm in her interactions. She shares herself, offers support, and looks for collaborative solutions. She wants to help you find fun and joy in any situation but is just as comfortable listening to your troubles.
- David is one of the smartest people we know but doesn't flaunt it, and is one of the most down-to-earth people you will ever meet. He's a loyal friend, always making an effort to stay close, and is there for you for whatever you need-a fun night out on a weekend, a relaxing night in watching a movie, relationship advice...and even legal advice haha!
- I come to Vicky for great advice without any judgment ?
August
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We're a family that loves music, and that is very much reflected in Jack's personality and interests! From his toddler "music class" to live concerts and musical plays to street performers and parades to one of us singing in the shower--if Jack hears music, he will come running.
He is a super sweet guy who was born on the same day as his dad in August. The two Leos have a lot in common. They are both easy going, well loved by their friends, always game to try new things, and prone to getting hangry. Vicky always keeps a power bar for David and a box of raisins for Jack in her purse.
Jack was born by a difficult C-section because at about 7 months he found a comfy sideways position in utero and decided to hunker down that way for the next two months, instead of twisting and turning like other babies. But after he came out, he lost all interest in relaxation. He has always been active, athletic, helpful AND destructive, artistic, musical, and according to David, a comedic genius.
He has lots of friends, loves his teachers, and when you ask him if he wants a sibling, he specifies that he'd like a baby sister. He's gentle with babies and takes care of his pup sibling Kopi. She's a picky eater so Jack sometimes spoonfeeds her. When Jack is around, Kopi insists on walking beside him. And she has the patience of a saint when he's slow to throw a ball or when he gets too rough and tumble. So Kopi takes pretty good care of Jack too.
Jack is a pretty independent kid. Every morning he picks out his clothes for daycare, asks to Facetime one or both sets of grandparents while he eats breakfast, and then walks with David to "school." It helps that we live just a few blocks away!
Every night he puts his dirty laundry into the hamper, brushes his teeth, and gives good night kisses to our housekeeper and to Kopi-- "Kopi, go to bed!" We wish he would be better about taking his own advice but really, that's our only complaint. He's a good kid and we are so excited for our next kid to have such a solid big brother to count on.
Our family through the years ...as described by Sharon and and Derry (and Sadie!)
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When we met Vicky we knew she was the one for him, and she quickly became a close friend of ours. She has a heart of gold, will always make you feel comfortable in any situation, and finds the joy in the little things.
As a mom Vicky is patient and kind, joyful and creative. Vicky is also an incredible teacher-she has a comfort with children that is rare, even among other parents, and she clearly loves being around children of all ages. When we were visiting them in Singapore, she often had both Jack and Sadie with her!
David balances having a demanding job with being a present father every single day. He wakes up early and in the middle of the night for Jack. He's there every morning for breakfast, and home for bedtime. He also shows that same love to our daughter Sadie, playing with her, reading her stories, and being silly and fun.
David's dancing is so uncool that it loops back around to being cool again.
We know that for David and Vicky, the love for a child doesn't only come from being biologically related to them--the love comes from caring for and loving the child for who they are, nurturing their personality, and supporting them to be the best baby, kid, and adult they can be.
David and Vicky's remarkable capacity for care and selflessness never ceases to amaze us. They consistently prioritize each other's well-being above their own, and this is doubly true when it comes to Jack. Their genuine generosity extends beyond their immediate family, as they are always ready to lend a helping hand to friends in times of need.
The Continuation of Our Journey
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So here we are at the end of a calendar year's worth of stuff about our little family. It's probably been a lot to absorb! But the end of this book is far from the end of our journey and is just somewhere in the middle of yours. Please consider it an open invitation to learn more about us and hopefully, to let us learn more about you.
Who knows what the future holds for all of us here--but we will try our best to find joy in the things to come, and to make our peace with the harder parts. We wish the same for you.
With our warmest thoughts,
David, Vicky, Jack and Kopi